My son took a pellet gun to school with him. Another student thought it was a real gun. After school about ten police showed up with lights flashing, and they had their guns drawn on my son. Naturally he was scared. After interrogating him, the police called me at work and said they filed an informational report but didn't charge him with a crime. The school principal, however, suspended my son for five days and is now recommending expulsion. Considering that he's never been in trouble before, isn't suspension enough? How do I prepare for the expulsion hearing?

It's really the district's decision. While the principal can recommend an expulsion, the decision to expel is made by the school board. Don't go to the expulsion hearing alone. Bring an attorney or advocate with you. There may even be a nonprofit organization in your area that attends expulsion hearings. If someone outside the family knows your son and can say that he's a good kid, bring him or her along as well. The people who hear the case probably won't know your son, so it's important that they also hear from someone outside the family that your son is a good citizen. A minister, teacher, employer, neighbor—someone who has known him for a while and is comfortable talking about the good things he's done. Since your son showed bad sense, you must also let the board know you're taking steps to help him develop better judgment. Perhaps you can guarantee more supervision, or a job if he's old enough, or some similar measure.

Nothing will work if your son is unable to demonstrate that he understands that what he did was wrong and that he is very sorry. He needs to apologize, and his apology must be genuine.