Ask an Expert: Judy Goddess
Using California School Law To Advocate For Your Kids

My seventh-grade daughter is a special education student with obsessive-compulsive disorder, memory problems and speech difficulties. We have explained all this to the middle school staff. However, several made remarks such as "What's wrong with you?" and "Just get over it." My child says she feels stupid in class, so she keeps to herself. In elementary school, teachers praised her and she was at or above grade level in every subject. Now she hates school.

No one should have to endure this situation. Write the district's coordinator of special education services and request a meeting to review her IEP (Individual Education Program). The district must respond within 30 days.

To prepare for the meeting, remember that you, the parent, are a partner in developing the IEP. If you don't agree with it, don't sign it. If you feel the school isn't honoring the existing contract, use the meeting to protest her treatment. You can bring a friend or an attorney to the meeting; many parents find it helpful to have an advocate with them.

Because districts are financially interested in retaining students, the coordinator may suggest that you try another school in the district. You'll need to visit the suggested schools and talk with the teachers. If you find a school that you think is appropriate, then request a transfer.

If you don't find a public school that's right for your daughter, then definitely send her to private school. When districts can't provide a free, appropriate public education for a special-education student, they must pay for the child's private education. The web site for the California Department of Education has useful information under Family Involvement & Partnerships. Scroll down to the Rights of Parents and Children: Notice of Procedural Safeguards, Revised 2000. This describes your rights as the parent of a special-education student. It also includes a list of California parent organizations that offer further information and support.

Good luck. You may be in for a struggle, but stick to your guns. By demanding that teachers treat your daughter with respect, you'll help her and all the other special education students at the school.